My roommate was talking the other day about Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is essentially people who get depressed during the winter months because of less sunlight, having to stay indoors, the cold weather, etc. I don't think I actually have S.A.D. but I definitely think that this past winter has not been as "happy" as my previous. I can't pinpoint an exact reason either--it could be a multitude of possibilities, I guess.
But I don't want to dwell on the past, because although I just had a snow day (on March 2nd, mind you), it's SPRING SEMESTER and daylight savings is around the corner, and the warm weather is ALMOST HERE!! I'm tired of feeling trapped in my dorm room, I'm tired of feeling like I don't experience the city to its fullest because it's too damn cold to walk around! I remember last spring was so great! Despite the fact that my friends and I were essentially running on no sleep the entire semester (staying up until about 4am or later every night, like I am again tonight), I remember having this feeling of spring, of warmth, of optimism, of realizing that I can in fact GET THROUGH my classes and there would be a reward afterwards--SUMMER!! I have this urge, this desire to feel that way again--my life has been sucking a little too much lately. And I'm not saying that in just the "my life sucks" kind of way, I mean it in a literal sense as well! My life (and lifestyle) is physically, emotionally and mentally DRAINING!
I'm the type of person who likes to keep herself busy. There's nothing wrong with that, but I've been realizing that I do it to a fault: I load myself up with so many things that I run myself into the ground until the point of complete exhaustion, and then I fall apart at the seams. I've been getting a little bit better at managing myself and keeping myself in check, but I slip up occasionally. Here's my life right now:
-15 credits (I just dropped my 9am ITA 102 for the second time because I never went! Sorry, I just cannot do 9am!)
-PALS Coordinator (Essentially a 9-5 job, whenever I'm not in class)
-DA (Tues, Thurs, and Sat nights from 11pm-2am)
-Two Shows, sadly one of them is ending tonight at 7:30 (Vagina Monologues) and the other is really just getting started but will be rehearsing practically every single day (including Sat & Sun)
-Homework??
Anyway, I'm not trying to complain about my life in this post, because to be honest, I LOVE everything that I'm doing and it takes a lot for me to give anything up (even if I hate it on occasion). Basically, I want it to be spring so I can get some Vitamin D from the sun and be happy again! :)
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