Woof

Sorry for lack of blogging lately!  In the past month, I've worked on and put up Cloud Nine at school, went home for .2 seconds for Spring Break, got a haircut, pet-sat a puppy, visited family in Jersey, threw an Easter bash at my apt for cast & crew, drank more alcohol than I care to admit, had my roommate drown my laptop in rain water, miraculously dry out my laptop and have it make a full recovery, attempted to find a job in NYC and VA, and get offered an Assistant Directing/Understudying gig with my favorite director lady til June on an Equity Showcase production (HOLLA), acquired some strange shoulder injury that makes my right arm almost immobile, and done almost ZERO SCHOOL WORK! :D

Like I said...busy! :)

But I am back now and wanting to keep up with my bloggity-blog!  Summer is fast approaching and I'm trying to figure out my life, as usual!

Here is a cute picture to end this post:  Me with my baby cousin, Eliana

Following the crowd...

So within the past week, I have not only gotten a blackberry (it's pink :) haha) that i'm totally addicted to, but I just signed up for a Twitter...

Oh boy!

As if I need more distractions from my MASSIVE pile of homework!

Speaking of, there's only like 2-3 weeks left in the semester, and I'm beginning to panic that I'm not going to be doing so well in some of my classes for the weirdest reasons...

which I guess is why I'm signing up for Twitter, so I can avoid doing my work some more!

Meh, whatever...I'm trying not to freak too much (yet)! I don't have rehearsal tonight, so my roomies and I are going out for dinner! Then...I have to do homework FOR REAL!!!

Should be fun!

Oh yeah, did I mention that it was like 70 degrees out today?? GORGEOUS!!!

Easier Said Than Done

This has nothing to do with what I wanted to write about tonight...but it was so nice outside the other day! I was in such a good mood (which, I'm sure you've seen from my blogs, doesn't happen as often as it should) so I "woke up early" and went to City Hall Park and had lunch, just enjoying the sun and the warm! So amazingly wonderful! :)

Anyways...I'm ASM for a show right now at my school. I haven't done legit tech work since high school, so I wanted to try my hand at stage managing! So far, I haven't really done too much, but it's been really fun and the cast is amazing! But what I wanted to talk about was how much easier it seems to be for me to get into other people's characters more than my own. Maybe it's because you're looking from an outside perspective, but I've found that it's easier for me to do "work" on someone else's character than if I'm working on one of my own.

The idea that I'm thinking about this too much is definitely possible, but it's something I've been thinking about lately. The fact that I'm a sophomore theater major and I "don't have a monologue" really scares me! Of course, this is easily fixed...FIND A MONOLOGUE! But I feel like it's more than that sometimes. It seems like all of my peers have established techniques when it comes to their acting. They're method actors, or they do 17 page character descriptions, or they do stream-of-consciousness journals, or they do sense-memory exercises, etc. etc. etc. I've been officially studying theater for almost two years, and I still don't FEEL like I "have a method" that I use. Then again, sometimes I feel like I'm self-conscious because I haven't had an opportunity to really showcase my talents (or what have you). But then again, I feel like that reason lies partially in the respect that I "don't have a monologue" that I feel comfortable with.

I must suck at picking out material because I can't seem to connect to anything that I'm picking out. I've literally put off memorizing my monologue for my scene study class simply because there's nothing substantial in it, it's just an "angry" monologue, or a "sad" monologue...there's no real material behind it. Another issue, I have all of these resources at my disposal (and I mean, I'm studying theater, at Pace, in Manhattan...what more could I ask for?) but I don't use them? WTF Stephanie!!! THIS IS WHY YOU CAME TO NEW YORK!!

So I guess this post has mainly been a swift kick in the ass for myself to stop being an idiot and dive into what I love doing!! (And stop doing other people's work for them!)

:)

I Felt Like This Needed Its Own Post?

Is it possible to feel tired, apathetic, horny, depressed, excited, anxious, nervous, nauseous, worthless, optimistic, content and OLD at the same time???

it's probably because i'm at work and it's only 1:30am :/

FML todayyyy...I WANT WARM WEATHER NOW!!

S.A.D?

So I typically love the cold weather--I love the snow, I love bundling up, I love Christmas, spiked hot chocolate, boots, etc.  But this year...I don't know, I'm just not feeling it!

My roommate was talking the other day about Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is essentially people who get depressed during the winter months because of less sunlight, having to stay indoors, the cold weather, etc.  I don't think I actually have S.A.D. but I definitely think that this past winter has not been as "happy" as my previous.  I can't pinpoint an exact reason either--it could be a multitude of possibilities, I guess.

But I don't want to dwell on the past, because although I just had a snow day (on March 2nd, mind you), it's SPRING SEMESTER and daylight savings is around the corner, and the warm weather is ALMOST HERE!!  I'm tired of feeling trapped in my dorm room, I'm tired of feeling like I don't experience the city to its fullest because it's too damn cold to walk around!  I remember last spring was so great!  Despite the fact that my friends and I were essentially running on no sleep the entire semester (staying up until about 4am or later every night, like I am again tonight), I remember having this feeling of spring, of warmth, of optimism, of realizing that I can in fact GET THROUGH my classes and there would be a reward afterwards--SUMMER!!  I have this urge, this desire to feel that way again--my life has been sucking a little too much lately.  And I'm not saying that in just the "my life sucks" kind of way, I mean it in a literal sense as well!  My life (and lifestyle) is physically, emotionally and mentally DRAINING!

I'm the type of person who likes to keep herself busy.  There's nothing wrong with that, but I've been realizing that I do it to a fault:  I load myself up with so many things that I run myself into the ground until the point of complete exhaustion, and then I fall apart at the seams.  I've been getting a little bit better at managing myself and keeping myself in check, but I slip up occasionally.  Here's my life right now:

-15 credits (I just dropped my 9am ITA 102 for the second time because I never went!  Sorry, I just cannot do 9am!)

-PALS Coordinator (Essentially a 9-5 job, whenever I'm not in class)

-DA (Tues, Thurs, and Sat nights from 11pm-2am)

-Two Shows, sadly one of them is ending tonight at 7:30 (Vagina Monologues) and the other is really just getting started but will be rehearsing practically every single day (including Sat & Sun)

-Homework??

Anyway, I'm not trying to complain about my life in this post, because to be honest, I LOVE everything that I'm doing and it takes a lot for me to give anything up (even if I hate it on occasion).  Basically, I want it to be spring so I can get some Vitamin D from the sun and be happy again! :)