"Failure"

Yup, it's official!

I got my first "F".

I mean, to be honest, it is completely my fault and not my professor's. I'm not going to play the blame game and accuse everybody but myself, because it's totally clear that it's my own damn fault.

(That doesn't mean I'm happy about it or proud of it...at all!)

My professor gave me an "Incomplete", which is exactly what it sounds like, but I didn't realize that there was a time limit on how long you could take to finish it. So I just so happened to check my grades from last semester for a different class, and what do you know, my "I" was now a big, fat, epic fail "F".

Ironically, I discovered my "F" while sitting in the library, trying to write this seven page paper that has been eluding me for so very long.

I mean, I'm still going to try and write this damn paper within the next few days, and I'm still going to turn it in, and maybe she will have mercy on me and at least give me a "D" or something...but she was a very "by the book" professor, so probably not.

Another fun fact, my first "F" in high school was also in my junior year, but I went to summer school and it was replaced with a nice, happy "A+". What's different now? I am NOT retaking that class again! You couldn't pay me enough!

Sigh. We'll see what happens I guess.

Following the crowd...

So within the past week, I have not only gotten a blackberry (it's pink :) haha) that i'm totally addicted to, but I just signed up for a Twitter...

Oh boy!

As if I need more distractions from my MASSIVE pile of homework!

Speaking of, there's only like 2-3 weeks left in the semester, and I'm beginning to panic that I'm not going to be doing so well in some of my classes for the weirdest reasons...

which I guess is why I'm signing up for Twitter, so I can avoid doing my work some more!

Meh, whatever...I'm trying not to freak too much (yet)! I don't have rehearsal tonight, so my roomies and I are going out for dinner! Then...I have to do homework FOR REAL!!!

Should be fun!

Oh yeah, did I mention that it was like 70 degrees out today?? GORGEOUS!!!

Easier Said Than Done

This has nothing to do with what I wanted to write about tonight...but it was so nice outside the other day! I was in such a good mood (which, I'm sure you've seen from my blogs, doesn't happen as often as it should) so I "woke up early" and went to City Hall Park and had lunch, just enjoying the sun and the warm! So amazingly wonderful! :)

Anyways...I'm ASM for a show right now at my school. I haven't done legit tech work since high school, so I wanted to try my hand at stage managing! So far, I haven't really done too much, but it's been really fun and the cast is amazing! But what I wanted to talk about was how much easier it seems to be for me to get into other people's characters more than my own. Maybe it's because you're looking from an outside perspective, but I've found that it's easier for me to do "work" on someone else's character than if I'm working on one of my own.

The idea that I'm thinking about this too much is definitely possible, but it's something I've been thinking about lately. The fact that I'm a sophomore theater major and I "don't have a monologue" really scares me! Of course, this is easily fixed...FIND A MONOLOGUE! But I feel like it's more than that sometimes. It seems like all of my peers have established techniques when it comes to their acting. They're method actors, or they do 17 page character descriptions, or they do stream-of-consciousness journals, or they do sense-memory exercises, etc. etc. etc. I've been officially studying theater for almost two years, and I still don't FEEL like I "have a method" that I use. Then again, sometimes I feel like I'm self-conscious because I haven't had an opportunity to really showcase my talents (or what have you). But then again, I feel like that reason lies partially in the respect that I "don't have a monologue" that I feel comfortable with.

I must suck at picking out material because I can't seem to connect to anything that I'm picking out. I've literally put off memorizing my monologue for my scene study class simply because there's nothing substantial in it, it's just an "angry" monologue, or a "sad" monologue...there's no real material behind it. Another issue, I have all of these resources at my disposal (and I mean, I'm studying theater, at Pace, in Manhattan...what more could I ask for?) but I don't use them? WTF Stephanie!!! THIS IS WHY YOU CAME TO NEW YORK!!

So I guess this post has mainly been a swift kick in the ass for myself to stop being an idiot and dive into what I love doing!! (And stop doing other people's work for them!)

:)

Weekend Update

Um...I guess the summation of this weekend would be:

Never again.

And as Forrest Gump says, "That's all I've got to say about that."

*More later when I'm done writing my scenes for Screenwriting :)