Easier Said Than Done

This has nothing to do with what I wanted to write about tonight...but it was so nice outside the other day! I was in such a good mood (which, I'm sure you've seen from my blogs, doesn't happen as often as it should) so I "woke up early" and went to City Hall Park and had lunch, just enjoying the sun and the warm! So amazingly wonderful! :)

Anyways...I'm ASM for a show right now at my school. I haven't done legit tech work since high school, so I wanted to try my hand at stage managing! So far, I haven't really done too much, but it's been really fun and the cast is amazing! But what I wanted to talk about was how much easier it seems to be for me to get into other people's characters more than my own. Maybe it's because you're looking from an outside perspective, but I've found that it's easier for me to do "work" on someone else's character than if I'm working on one of my own.

The idea that I'm thinking about this too much is definitely possible, but it's something I've been thinking about lately. The fact that I'm a sophomore theater major and I "don't have a monologue" really scares me! Of course, this is easily fixed...FIND A MONOLOGUE! But I feel like it's more than that sometimes. It seems like all of my peers have established techniques when it comes to their acting. They're method actors, or they do 17 page character descriptions, or they do stream-of-consciousness journals, or they do sense-memory exercises, etc. etc. etc. I've been officially studying theater for almost two years, and I still don't FEEL like I "have a method" that I use. Then again, sometimes I feel like I'm self-conscious because I haven't had an opportunity to really showcase my talents (or what have you). But then again, I feel like that reason lies partially in the respect that I "don't have a monologue" that I feel comfortable with.

I must suck at picking out material because I can't seem to connect to anything that I'm picking out. I've literally put off memorizing my monologue for my scene study class simply because there's nothing substantial in it, it's just an "angry" monologue, or a "sad" monologue...there's no real material behind it. Another issue, I have all of these resources at my disposal (and I mean, I'm studying theater, at Pace, in Manhattan...what more could I ask for?) but I don't use them? WTF Stephanie!!! THIS IS WHY YOU CAME TO NEW YORK!!

So I guess this post has mainly been a swift kick in the ass for myself to stop being an idiot and dive into what I love doing!! (And stop doing other people's work for them!)

:)