3am delirium

soooooo i'm about to move out of fulton after being there all summer and move into my NEW APARTMENTTTT!! :D

so i'm my excitement, i'm doing a facebook survey...hahaha!

sorry that this is my big come-back post for the time being!

Who is your best friend?
i like to think that i have a couple, but probably my brother :)


Who did you last say “I love you” to?
alyssa over the phone

Do you regret it?
haha nooo

Have you ever been depressed?
not clinically, after italy i was pretty depressed, and after Tia passed away <3

How do you want to die?
when i'm old, and in my sleep

What did you last eat? Where?
charlys delivery in front of my comp...GREASY as usual :/

Where do you wish you were right now?
either in my new apt, or at home (both of which will be occurring tomorrow!)

Do you bite your nails?
NO it's gross! my mother showed my bros and i what under your fingernails under a microscope once...needless to say i don't bite my nails :/

What is your real name?
Stephanie (no shock there)

Are you gonna get high later?
highly unlikely

Do you hate anyone at the moment?
not hate exactly, i've got a shit list though with quite a few members :/

Do you miss someone?
of course :)

do you tan a lot?
negatory

How exactly are you feeling?
anxious, can't sleep, worried that i'm not done packing and won't wake up on time for mother dearest's arrival

Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
yeah, a lot actually

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
alyssa

Are you scared of spiders?
YES! i'm scared of anything that has more than 4 legs :/

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
sometimes i think yes, usually no...re-living certain moments would be nice

Do you regret anything from your past?
no, everything happens for a reason

Have you hugged someone today?
yes :)

Do you want to have kids?
not really...

Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?
my brother michael? lame haha

You type fast?
indeed

Do you have piercings?
4 total! two in each ear!

Who is your last text from?
alyssaaaa

Can you spell well?
i'm an english major, so i hope so!

What do you miss?
being home with my family <3

Who are you thinking of right now?
lol good charlotte actually just came on my itunes, so flashbacks of high school mostly hahaha

What are you listening to?
good charlotte-girls & boys (it's on my 90s playlist, though that wasn't very 90s)

Kissed someone in a truck?
sadly, yes...can i pull the VA card? lol

Have you ever been cheated on?
not to my knowledge

Have you made a boyfriend/ girlfriend cry?
not to my knowledge

Would you live with someone without marrying them?
YES!! i strongly believe in living with someone for a few YEARS (yeah, i said it) before getting married!!

What should you be doing?
homework, packing, sleeping, lots of things

What’s irritating you right now?
my eye...i was washing dishes and dancing to backstreet boys earlier and i got some dishsoap in there...painful!!

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurts?
school-girl crushes are a force to be reckoned with...hahaha!

What's your favorite color?
blue :)

Have you ever changed clothes in public?
in parking lots, yeah! especially if you're going to the beach! haha

Do you have trust issues?
i wouldn't say "issues"...you get a good sense of who will keep your secrets and who won't

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
my mother is my rock, my best friend, i LOVE her with all of my being <3>

Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
eh i guess so, but probably not a lot, we weren't together for very long

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
not sure...i think it was pasquale at the HP midnight showing (LOL)

Do you give out second chances too easily?
forgive and forget...everybody deserves a second chance! it's the 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances that don't go over so well!

Is this year the best year of your life?
here's hoping!!

What was your child hood nickname?
stephy or chick

Have you ever walked outside naked?
haha not that i can recall

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
checked facebook? lame

Do you act differently around the person you like?
i smile a lot more, depending on nerves i'll either be really quiet or really chatty hahaha

Who was the last person to make you laugh?
christian, we had a photobooth shoot :)

Are you listening to music right now?
yeppers

Who was the last person to make you sad?
myself i guess, i was looking at old pics and missing tia <3

Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
don't think so

Are you currently jealous?
don't think so...

Is cheating ever okay?
i personally don't think so. if you're not happy with the person you're with, find someone else! don't be a coward and stay with that person if you don't have feelings for them and just wind up hurting them later :/

Are you mean?
i would like to think that i'm not :)

Could you keep white shoes clean?
probably not

Do you believe in true love?
i think so! i think that love is one of the truest things there is (romantic much?)

Do you like the outside?
it depends...i'm starting to like it a little bit more as i get older

What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
killer sinus infection :(

Do you wanna get married?
not really, sorry fellas, i'll just stay your forever girlfriend if that's okay :)

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
i feel like they can come up with a better pet name than baby...

How late did you stay up last night and why?
not sure, probably 2am and probably for no reason

Have you ever been caught sneaking out?
yes, which was silly because it wasn't even that late! we just wanted to get frostys from wendyssss hahaha

What makes you happy?
a lot of things! my family, my friends, learning, acting, performing, reading, feeling productive, music, talented people, animals, helping others, autumn, ice cream (haha)

Would you change your name?
not unless i need a stage name, because my name is a little too common i think, but i love my name :)

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
lol no

Do you watch the news?
sometimes

What’s your zodiac sign?
sagittarius :D

Do you like Subway?
yeah $5 footlongs are a real money-saver

Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
well, that would be a very odd/awkward situation...

Do you talk like your friends?
oh yeah! i picked up so much new lingo this summer hahahaha

Ever purposely avoided someone?
yeahhh hahaha

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
yeah, duh! i love my guy friends :)

Does it matter if your boyfriend/ girlfriend smokes?
no chainsmokers please, but i wouldn't mind in moderation :)

Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
my madre <3

Is there a person you could not live without?
a few...my mom and my brothers for sure! my family <3

Because I'm too embarrassed to post it on Facebook...

I'm bored and wanted to waste my time doing a survey!! lol!

Have you ever drank alcohol straight from the bottle?
yes

What's on your schedule for tomorrow?
gym (hopefully), shower, work, homework, HILTD, CAST PARTY!!!

Is anyone mad at you right now?
maybe, but i don't really care right now

Have you ever seen the movie Twilight?
i dragged a bunch of my friends with me to the midnight showing, even though they didn't want to go...and i own the dvd lol

Do you like to cuddle?
YES it's my fav!

Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
maybe?

Are you really happy or are you just saying that?
i'm okay...apathetic? it's the end of the semester c'mon

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a M?
other than my mom, no? lol!

What's something that bothers you about girls?
cattiness, gossip queens, and when girls grill people for no reason

Will you be in a relationship in 4 months?
i have NO idea...lol

Are you warm or cold?
when it comes to personality, hopefully warm...my body temp right now, content lol

When will you next be at school?
tomorrow afternoon

The last time you saw your number three?
what?

Who took your display picture?
my brother and i on my macbook

Are there any candles in the room your in?
one fake one (its battery operated)

What's your worst habit?
cracking knuckles and eating

Has anybody ever called you beautiful?
yeah :)

How do you vent anger?
talking to my mom/brothers/roomies/friends

What are you listening to right now?
jay leno

Ever been in a car wreck?
not a wreck, but a minor accident

Have you ever been on a blind date?
nope

Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?
oh yeah

By what age would you like to be married?
um...whenever? no set age, whenever i want to be

Have you ever made a mistake?
never, i'm perfect...lol

What's the most you have spent for a haircut?
$75 + $15 for tip...eek!

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
yeahhh lol

Have you ever peed in public?
when i was younger? lol

Are your ears gauged?
nope

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a J?
yes lol

Would you get married if you could right now?
HELL NO lol

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
tony

Are you in a good mood?
meh...stressed, it's finals week!!

The last person you argued with?
i don't really argue...we had a work thing on monday, so does that count?

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
i like the 70s with no humidity and a light breeze...is that too specific?

Is any part of your body sore?
my feet (blister on one foot, heel spur on the other)

What do you wear more jeans, sweatpants, or slacks?
jeans

Who makes you so mad you could puke?
people who think i'm incompetent/stupid (which feels like a common theme in my life right now)

Are you confident in yourself?
usually

Is there anyone who's a lot like you?
probably...melissa

Do you get offended easily?
nope

What were you doing this morning at 7am?
sleeping

How many different beverages have you had today?
a lot actually

Any plans for tonight?
homework and sleep

Do you dislike anyone right now?
yes

Something you are excited about?
ITALYYYY

Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
no :(

Be honest, what does your last text in your outbox say?
"Haha nah you won't be! I'll make sure of it! Even if we have to sneak you up here somehow! lol!" to my brother

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
yeah...not much changes in a year sadly :/

Who was the first person you talked to today?
dr. raubicheck lol

How late did you stay up last night?
2-2:30am

When was the last time you cried?
yesterday-ish? i think i worked up one tear...lol

What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
ITALY and SUMMER IN THE CITY!!

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
macy's

Last person you talked to?
gabby

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with the letter T?
don't think so...

Do you like your bed?
it's pretty comfy

Is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated?
not really

Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow?
nope

Who will you be sleeping with tonight?
myself

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
yesterdayyyyyyyy

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
read catcher in the rye

Do you talk in your sleep?
apparently i've started snoring lately?? eww

When’s the last time you talked to your best friend?
todayyy

The last person you kissed, where are they?
not sure... :/

Do you currently have feelings for anybody?
kinda? i'm just a horny sob right now lol!!

Do you think you've changed over the past year?
i hope sooo

Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now?
yeahhh

What did you do on 4/20?
had rehearsal all day!!

Does anyone know your password besides you?
my brother lol

Plans this weekend?
revlon walk, homework, apartment hunting??

Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
if it's hot as balls, yes

Is the last person you kissed older then you?
yes

Has a girl sat on your bed before?
lol duh...

Are you afraid to grow up?
not afraid...nervously anxious??

Do you like to hold or be held?
both, but i like being on the receiving end

Do you plan on hugging the last person you hugged again?
um...sure! he's a hottie ;)

Does seeing couples in love make you mad?
not mad, just...happy/jealous-ish lol

Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
my mom, yeah probably!! i hope so

How many times do you talk on the phone a day on average?
maybe once or twice...not a lot!

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?
never

yay procrastination!!

Romantic?

So I'm taking this class called Romanticism & the Modern World, and its taught by the head of the English Department at my school (whom I LOVE!) and basically, thus far, we've read and discussed the "Big Six" Romantic English poets--Wordsworth, Coleridge, Blake, Keats, Byron, and Shelley.

Now, I grew up in the suburbs of Northern Virginia, literally walking distance from Algonkian Park, a car ride away from the Skyline Drive, the Shenandoah Mts/Valley/River, the Blue Ridge Mts (my fav growing up), and all of the parks and monuments of Washington DC. I think it's safe to say that I've had my fair share of nature. My dad used to take us camping, hiking, exploring, and at one point, we even had a cabin ON the Shenandoah River. I always considered myself to be a "city girl"...and hey, look at me now! :)

But here's where I start to stray...when forced on these nature outings, I always resented them. Whether I was just being a 13 year old girl, or because I wasn't getting along with my dad (or his gf at the time), or because I actually DID NOT enjoy myself--I'm not sure, it was probably a combination of the three. But recently, probably now that I'm living in New York City where City Hall Park and Battery Park are the only types of "nature" that are within walking distance of my building, I'm beginning to WANT to be in nature?

When I go home (and even during my senior year), whenever I wanted to retreat somewhere, AWAY from people, I would go to Algonkian Park and just sit in my car or on the benches and think. It was quiet, depending on the time of day, there weren't too many people there, you could usually find a deer or two grazing around the fields--it was really peaceful. When I went home after Tia passed away in September, I found myself spending more and more time on this dirty little bench, just watching the river...for those of you who know me, that is kind of out-of-the-ordinary.

While I'm thinking of it, I admire my cousin Brian SO MUCH! He lives in California and before he got a Facebook earlier this month, I probably talked to him about once a year on the phone, and saw him in person about 3-4 years ago! EEK! I almost began feeling like he was this estranged, mysterious person whose life I only imagined. After being his Facebook friend, I finally feel as though I've solved the mystery and now I'm DYING to be part of his almost picturesque, Romantic life. He spends his free-time climbing mountains, exploring deserts, and learning how to conduct mountain rescues for hikers, etc. I feel as though he is living this peaceful, happy, lets-go-commune-with-Nature, Romantic lifestyle and compared to my micro-managed, NYC, go-Go-GO, superficial, theatrical lifestyle...well, it's something that I really want to experience and share with him!

Anyways, whether I'm on some pantheistic kick right now, I don't know...but here are (what I think are) the reasons why all of a sudden I want to pack up my suitcase, jump in a car and "be 'On The Road' like Jack Kerouac":

-LIT212R: Romanticism & the Modern World

-Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer (I read the book AND watched the movie)

-Twilight series (odd, but it takes place in the Pacific Northwest)

-My cousin Brian (an all-around outdoorsmen...I think the ONLY ONE in our family)

-My aunt Kristin (from Portland, OR/also runs along the Twilight vein)

-Life/College/Stress (who doesn't just want to pack up their shit and hit the road at 20 years old?)

-Dorm Room--Maybe I just need to live in a room that GETS SOME SUNLIGHT! :/

Well, whatever it is, I unfortunately must conclude, because it is 3:45am and I have work in the morning (Why must I get philosophical late at night?) but yeah...who's up for a roadtrip across the Continental US??

Sooo true!

One of my friends just posted this link as their Facebook status!  I read it, found it scarily TRUE and hilarious!!

Click here!

Enjoy!